How a Feather Found Me


“It is commonly thought in most cultures that feathers are symbols of higher thought, spiritual progression.  The line of thought here is that birds were considered divine creatures in primitive/ancient cultures because they are creatures of the sky (heaven) and therefore closer to G-d…Dreaming of feathers in our midst is typically symbolic of wanting to achieve a higher goal, or overcome a challenge.  It is also a reminder from our psyche that we are always connected to our higher source, and that our own divinity is undeniable.” — Symbolic Meanings by Avia.

Lots of my family and friends out there have been asking me lately what’s with the feathers.  I’ll get to that.  But many of you also ask where I find my health, wellness, and spiritual inspiration from.  A lot of it of course comes from you, our relationships, my own personal thoughts and beliefs on health and wellness, music, love (romantic, familial, friendships), as well as places that I adore and go to in my mind when I need an escape like the beach or the exquisite landscapes in Europe.

Some of it comes from books.  I had a gift certificate to B&N recently and was excited to do one of my favorite things; I went to the store with nothing else pressing to do and just browsed. I came upon a great book on juicing from Pressed Juicery (out in California, but they do sell their juices and products online as well:, which then led me to The Chalkboard Mag which the founders of Pressed Juicery started, and  I am now totally addicted to this website! ( There are tons of interesting articles on juicing, exercising, nutrition, holistic healing, style, the mind/body connection… you get the idea!

I’m also in love with beauty and comfort, always have been, but I think now even more so.  I’m not talking about the outside beauty of a person, but the inside beauty of those around me.  And I am always striving to make my environment more serene and calm; you know that I love soft clothes, bright jewelry, and unique home item stores that make you want to wrap yourself up in one of their pretty blankets, grab a meditation pillow, and just live there.  Recently while in NYC we went to ABC Carpet and Home ( which is the epitome of beauty and comfort; it was truly fabulous. Kind of like Anthropologie (which used to be my favorite store until now) on steroids!

ABC Carpet and HomeBooksLook at what was at ABC Carpet and Home the day after my Mom and I attended the Crazy, Sexy, Miracle Event!

We ate at ABC Kitchen first ( and can I just say that if I lived in New York it would be dangerous?  For you foodies out there, this is a Jean-Georges restaurant and you ooh and ahh over everything from the food to the drinks to the chandeliers to the tableware.  I tried my first ever beet juice (which did take some getting used to), but the pizza with dates and formaggio and the veggie burger with a yogurt mint dressing was just out of this world!  Afterwards we spent hours perusing the store, and I got a lot of inspiration for the meditation nook that I want to create in my sun room at home, plus a beautiful gold feather necklace.

Why a feather, you may be wondering?  Well, I’m excited to share this story with you.

As I’ve been reading Gabby Bernstein’s book “May Cause Miracles,” I’ve also been listening to some of her podcasts and watching some of her videos online. One podcast in particular resonated with me:  She told a story about looking for a home to purchase in the city (NYC) with her husband.  They looked all over Manhattan and Brooklyn for months; everything either wasn’t quite right, or was too expensive, or would get swooped up quickly, before they could even put an offer in.  It started to affect her mood.  She became frustrated, and instead of feeling joyful and excited at the prospect of buying a new home with her hubby, she came to dread these real-estate outings.

One day, as she was meditating and asking for guidance, a thought came to her; to open herself up to think more creatively about this situation.  Though the pair had always wanted to buy a house outside of the city in a quiet landscape, they had planned on doing that “someday,” and not spending the bulk of their money on that kind of thing at this point in their lives, but on a more permanent home in the city.  She mentioned her intuition to her husband who said for fun that perhaps they should just look online at the kind of house that they had really planned on buying in the future.  Immediately they found something of interest, called their real estate agent, and went out to look at it.   Right beforehand  she called her friend and told her about the mountain house that they had found online, and how her intuition had guided her towards perhaps choosing something different than she and her husband had previously envisioned (I love the thought of meditating and getting quiet enough to hear creative solutions).  They talked about feeling guided by the universe when grappling with a tough decision and they talked about signs (stay with me here). Her friend mentioned that her own sign was the dragonfly, and she looked for it when she felt that she needed confirmation that her intuition was leading her down a positive path.

So Gabby and her husband went to see this beautiful mountain home and immediately when she walked in, she saw a dragonfly on the cover of a CD case.  But it wasn’t her own sign, which she had manifested or “co-created” with the universe into an owl.  Still, the home felt right.  While she was scared of making the “wrong” decision, they each felt so at home in this beautiful house.  She stepped outside still feeling a little bit unsure, but no sooner had she walked out that she saw a car drive by with a bumper sticker of an owl on it.

I didn’t know it at the time, but that story would stay with me. Though I didn’t intend to necessarily find my own sign, a few days later I was meditating.  While I was not thinking of this story or signs, all of a sudden a feather came to me in my thoughts.  In my mind the feather drifted down from an unforeseen place and stayed with me. It was beautiful and felt peaceful. “Huh,” I thought.  “I wonder what that’s all about.”  I was in the middle of a meditation and honestly didn’t give it too much thought.

Very soon after that when my Mom and I were at ABC Carpet waiting for my cousins to arrive so that we could begin our girl’s weekend together, we had leisurely walked throughout the store admiring their gems before eating brunch there.  Afterwards we went back to the store and just as my Mom was paying for a pair of earrings and we were on our way out, I turned around to face a cabinet that I had already walked by.  Only this time, a beautiful gold feather necklace sitting there gracefully in the cabinet caught my eye.  I gasped, without even quite knowing why, at first.  And then I remembered:  The feather in my thoughts.

I got a tingle and told my Mom and my cousins the story, and my Mom bought the feather necklace for me.  Later that night, while at dinner, my Mom who was sitting right beside me looked over at me and said quietly, “You have a feather sitting on your shoulder.”  Sure enough, there was a beautiful little gray and white feather perched on my sweater.

Now I know what a lot of you are saying, because if I had heard this story a year or two ago I would have said the exact same thing:  A sign?  Isn’t that just a way of you trying to talk yourself into something?  Or releasing any responsibility for listening to your own gut/intuition and making decisions?  And what if you don’t see a “sign?”  Does that mean that something is “wrong?”

I don’t think that Gabby would necessarily say that we’re crazy for questioning how this works.  She may say that if you ask for or look for a sign and don’t see it, that just means that you’re being guided in a different direction.  I think that those of us that look for spiritual guidance find comfort in knowing that the universe is listening, in some shape or form.  Now that I am on a more spiritual path I can’t say that I leave everything up to signs when I make my decisions, but I do find comfort in knowing that there are possibilities in the world outside of what I can even imagine.  That’s all that I really know now, but it’s enough.

I’m not going to pretend like I have it all figured out, because I’m still trying to wrap my head around it as well, but when I read the above quote about feathers and spiritual progression and overcoming challenges, I literally got goosebumps.  I’m not going to say that sure as anything I believe that if Gabby hadn’t seen that owl bumper sticker, that house wouldn’t have been the one for her and her husband.  But for the first time in my life I’m trying to get clear with G-d and the universe about what I want, and anything that brings peace and comfort is surely something to hold on to.


The Guilt of Winter


I am all about my space these days; that which I create while at home or at work.  I’m yearning to make things feel serene, beautiful, and inspiring.  The truth is, I’m really dreaming of more calm within myself, but the physicality of my home or office seems like a good place to start when my life feels chaotic.  I dream of my house being draped in sea-glass colored curtains and taking warm baths with essential oils and lots of lit candles and no clutter.  Like anywhere.

I try to avoid the emotional clutter as well, but this is more difficult.  I can’t get my thoughts to just.stop. Meditation is relaxing because maybe for the first time that day I am actually releasing tension from my mucles and taking in deep breaths, but I still spend most of the time reminding myself to come back to the mantra.  I look for guidance everywhere, from Kris Carr to Gabby Bernstein to Danielle LaPorte.  (Truth time:  Her #truthbomb card deck is on my wish-list for my birthday!).   I read cookbooks and online magazines and search my bookshelves for the answers.  I feel so lethargic, like winter is finally catching up to me and all I want to do is be buried underneath warm blankets and wrapped in soothing music and eating something chocolate.  Anything chocolate.  As I write this, long icicles hanging off of the roof block my view of the backyard, which is OK, since that is covered in snow anyway.

What I’d like to say is that I can look inside of myself to find all of the peacefulness that I need; that somehow, down in that deep inner-gut, I know what to do.  I know how to pull myself out of the fear, the exhaustion, the unknown.  That is what I’d like to say.

So I go back the books.  I listen to music.  I watch the snow fall outside my window.  Again.  I long for spring because I love warmth and flowers and eating outside and getting pedicures and drinking iced coffee and doing errands with gusto (or as much gusto as you can have doing errands), and because I can roll the windows down and listen to the birds chirp. Winter makes me feel restless, but most of all, winter makes me feel guilty because it is a symbol of longing for the future.  I should just be grounded and grateful for the present.  I don’t want time to go too fast.  Nobody with cancer ever wants time to go too fast.

So I actually try to enjoy winter, maybe for the first time ever.  I layer and bundle and crank up the heat in my house and try to still do all that I want to do, despite the snow banks being taller than myself and the temperature dropping more and more each day.  I so want to enjoy everything, even shoveling off my car after a day at work and the scraping and the trudging through muddy snow.

I want some kind of an answer.  I want to know how to rid the fear and the anxiety and the tiredness.  I’m so tired.  I miss the sun.  But somehow I know that through even the darkest days, light awaits.  This I know.

Inviting Love In By Letting Go


It’s all about the love today people!  They say that love makes the world go round, and I’m full agreement with that.  It occurred to me that everything I do and everything I am and everything that I want to be is fueled by just that– love.

Valentine’s Day is such a nice day to recognize those special people in our lives, though I’m sure (or I hope) that we try to do this not just on Valentine’s Day.  It’s a Tuesday and you love your spouse or sibling or child or parent or best friend, why not tell them?  Just about every day SHL and I tell each other that we love each other, and for me, it’s the best part of the day.

That also got me thinking about how we can never really be filled up by somebody else; that we shouldn’t rely on somebody else for our own happiness.  While I agree, I also think that the love of my husband, parent’s, sibling, nephew, in-laws, cousins, family and friends all help guide me to a place where I can feel comfortable enough to be able to pursue the love that I have with myself.

The terms “self-love” and “self-acceptance” are thrown around so much that sometimes I hear the words, but I don’t really think much about what they mean.  But today, on Valentine’s Day, as I was watching one of my all-time favorite rom com’s Love Actually (full disclosure: tears streaming down my face), I thought about how when we’re in love with somebody else, truly in love, we accept them unconditionally.  Or at least we try to.  But we as human beings tend to notice not just the flaws of others, but we notice our own as well.  I think about falling in love with SHL and accepting his flaws, and then I wonder why I can’t accept my own.

One of the nuggets of wisdom that I’ve learned from Spirit Junkie Gabby Bernstein is to try and let go of expectations.  When I first read about this concept and thought about practicing it, I was enveloped in feelings of suspicion and maybe even a little bit of anger.  Why shouldn’t I expect things of others?  Why I should let others “off the hook?”  And if I do, then will they show up for me?  What if they “get it wrong?”  It wasn’t until I really thought about my relationships on a much deeper level that I realized that I have tremendously high expectations of others, and looking back on it, I always have.  While I’m sure that its human nature, I can say that so many times I have been disappointed because I expected so much out of somebody, and when they didn’t “live up” to who I thought they should be, I was left feeling sad and alone.  It’s not to say that we can go through life expecting nothing, but I will say this:  The moment that I let go of very high expectations for two very important people in my life, they showed up for me in ways that I never would have expected.  All of a sudden it felt like I had manifested this new kind of love in my life that I invited in just by letting go.

What I’d like to invite into my life is a more accepting love for myself. I have had high expectations of others yes, but I’ve also had such high expectations for myself that if I miss the mark on any given day, it can feel defeating.  Maybe I can love my body despite having cancer.  Maybe I can relish the fact that I embarrassingly throw my head back and open my mouth really wide when I laugh. Maybe I can appreciate my wacky and sarcastic sense of humor or the fact that I’m such a klutz I can actually fall up the stairs.   And since I’m trying to live authentically and I don’t have all of the answers, I will also share with you that I struggle with trying to figure out how to remain human and push myself to meet goals and still love myself unconditionally, especially on the days when I feel that my health and wellness get pushed to the side because of work or commitments or a lapse in energy.  Deepak Chopra says that we’re all doing the best that we can from our own level of consciousness, and I think that if I can invite a little bit more of that into my life, it may ultimately lead to more happiness and joy in not just my world, but in the world that we share together as well.

Happy Valentine’s Day Team Lozier.  I hope that you know that every blog post and every phone call and text and card and email is really just a hug and kiss from me, today and always.  xoxo.


Strawberries and Snow!


One of the really fun parts of having a blog is getting to share some of my favorite things with you, especially recipes.  It’s been so joyful to get texts and emails and Facebook posts of you guys juicing (or juicing with your kids!) or meditating or getting a massage, and knowing that we are making it more of a priority in our everyday lives to slowwww down and think about taking care of ourselves.  Though we may hear the call to act on self-care in different ways, it is so important not to ignore the messages that our bodies (not to mention our brains!) are sending us.

The latest thing that I tried and wanted to share with you was during our snow-day on Monday here in Boston—another foot of snow dumped on us, holy cow! You would think that I would have wanted something warm and cozy like hot chocolate with marshmallows, but once I saw this new smoothie recipe on Pinterest, even if frozen, I just couldn’t stop thinking about it until I tried it.

A good one for Valentine’s Day, perhaps?  I lovveee strawberries dipped in chocolate, but this takes it to a whole new level in a smoothie.  If you’re going to go for something sweet, why not throw in something like chia seeds that are good for you (it has a ton of fiber and Omega 3’s) and yet you hardly know are there?

Check out the recipe for this frozen strawberry chocolate chia smoothie here:  I will be tooling around on for other cool-looking recipes as well.

Here is mine!

Frozen strawberry smoothie

I’m thinking that there are tons of ways to play around with this as well, depending upon what you’re hoping to get out of it.  You could put other frozen fruit in it too like bananas, oranges, or pineapple.  You could throw in hemp seeds, shredded unsweetened coconut, or even dark chocolate or dairy-free chocolate chips if the cocao powder still isn’t chocolaty enough for you!  And while you’re at it, why not try almond, cashew, or peanut butter?  (That’s a thing, isn’t it?  Strawberries and nut-butters?).

Still craving something warm and cozy?  Head on over to the Kitchn’s website ( and check out their tips on delicious ways to enjoy your hot chocolate with just a dash more good health (coconut milk whipped cream?!  I gotta try me some of that!).

Stay warm and classy (I mean toasty) Boston!

Let Go and Listen




Do you believe in intuition?  Miracles?  Coincidences?  Or do you simply not think about these things at all?  Today, I encourage you to tap into what your gut (I call mine my “inner ally”) is telling you.  Are you having a difficult time making a decision?  Does something seem off-balance?  Is there a piece of your life that you would like to shift?  (I have decided that “shift” is such a more positive and rewarding word than “change”).

I went to bed last night with a sore throat.  Totally bummed, I began judging myself for having a compromised immune system.  Since being diagnosed with cancer I have really tried to strengthen my immune system by juicing, exercising, sleeping, drinking enough water and sometimes infusing it with lemon (which I’ve read can give you a good boost of Vitamin C, not to mention that I love juicing with lemons as well) meditating, and shifting (love it) my perceptions in order to be able to better deal with stress, fear, and anxiety (all of which people believe can compromise our immune systems).

I had a cold over the New Year that lasted a couple of weeks, as colds often do, and I felt disappointed in myself that I had gotten sick.  And a little worried.  I hold more significance now in getting something even as small as a cold, because I’m much more in tune with my body and trying to sustain a healthy lifestyle. But people get sick, right?  We’ve had a cold and snowy winter the last couple of weeks without a lot of sunshine. I work in an office where the windows don’t open, the carpets probably haven’t been vacuumed in years, and we just found Henry the Mouse scurrying around again.  I go to a yoga studio and the grocery store and see friends who have kids that bring germs home from school.  This is life!   But beating myself up for getting sick just gives you a little window into my mind and the negative self-talk that goes on (I’m working on it).

This morning when I woke up, still with a sore throat, I remained disappointed, especially because I have been drinking a lot of water since it came on, all in the hopes of “flushing it out.”  But I was mainly disappointed because I was supposed to go to my first group yoga class this afternoon in years (my private yoga teacher had really been encouraging me to attend this one at her studio run by a colleague of hers), and I was really excited about it.  A 2 hour class, it was going to be restorative and gentle, and I hoped that maybe I would meet some other women and/or move my body in new ways that were kind but also strengthening as well.

Nobody can probably tell you better than SHL that I am not good at making decisions.  He very often nudges me to look at a menu before we go out to eat so that once at the restaurant he doesn’t have to wait 20 minutes for me to order! So of course I was struggling this morning with whether or not to go.  Various things were pulling me home like the snow (again) and the fact that my house is so cluttered, it’s starting to make me feel crazy! Not having to go out in this weather and just spending the day relaxing and organizing sounded really appealing.  On the other hand, I was super excited to see what this yoga class could be all about, happy thinking about changing my workout routine for today, and thinking about how fun it could be to meet new people.  It was something that I had been looking forward to all week, and the thought of not going also made me feel a little bit like a wimp, a failure, and a lazy bum.  (Cancer should = Being proactive, right?  Would staying at home defeat my belief that doing takes precedence over resting? I wonder if other people– living with a chronic disease or not– ever feel this way as well?).

Unsure what to do (and feeling a little guilty that I had taken a coveted spot in the class), I decided to meditate.  I reached for my meditation library on my phone and went to Day 3 of a meditation that I just started (I’ve done it before, but it’s so good that I often repeat it).  I wish that I could say that I was surprised that today’s meditation was about listening to your intuition, but I can’t. I’m starting to believe that things aren’t necessarily just coincidences anymore.

I spent the 20 or so minutes trying to clear my mind and tap into what my inner-ally was telling me.  I should point out that usually, I conjure up my inner-ally when I am trying to make much tougher decisions.  But the truth is, learning to tap into our gut is wonderful because it is a tool that we all have, and that once we find, nobody can take away from us.  I believe that it’s worth thinking about how to get in better touch with yours as a way to gain some balance and clarity in your life. (Having a hard time finding yours?  Let me know and I will spend another blog post talking about it. Finding mine and listening to it is still a work-in-progress. I still sometimes struggle with wondering if what I am hearing is that of my rational mind or my gut, but I’ve learned that is OK.  It still benefits me to try to discern the difference, and since being diagnosed with cancer for the second time, I’ve learned some great skills that have helped me through some tough times).  Listening, truly listening, actually feels like a way to calm some of the chaos in my mind lately.   I pictured myself there, at the yoga class, and  I pictured myself at home.  I thought about how I would feel there, and I thought about how I would actually feel at home.  I imagined getting others sick being in such a small space and sharing blankets, mats, and props, and remember my yoga teacher telling me a few months ago that if I didn’t feel well, I really shouldn’t show up to class.  “Yes, I don’t want to get anybody else sick,” I replied, to which she nodded but also said, “And you should be taking care of yourself, anyway, if you’re not feeling well, which may mean staying home and resting.”  I listened to the words, but I’m not really sure that I heard them.

And then a thought came to me.  It was nice that I was thinking about not wanting to get other people sick, but what about me?  I have cancer.  If I’m coming down with something then my immune system may very well be compromised, and what if others come to the class sick?  For fear of sounding like a drama-queen, I don’t want to get a cold, much less anything else.  My body needs to stay as strong as it possibly can to fight.

When I opened my eyes, I knew what I needed to do, and I immediately emailed my yoga teacher.  It wasn’t necessarily what I wanted to do, but I have begun the commitment to caring for myself in the ways in which I would care for others, and this just seemed like the next natural step in the process.

This small decision has planted a seed for me and you too I hope about the ways in which we think we take care of ourselves.  If we eat right and exercise, we’re doing a great job, maybe?  Of course those are truly important pieces to the puzzle, but what if we run ourselves ragged, trying to be perfect or “successful?”  What if we harbor grudges and resentment or get little sleep or socially isolate ourselves?  (And sometimes in the winter that can happen by accident).  I’m here to gently nudge you to remember that self-care is not just the “buzz word” of the year.  It should be the “buzz word” of a lifetime.

Let go and listen my friends.  xoxo.

Heart, Mind, and Soul


“Change your mind, change your life.”  — Gabby Bernstein.

On Friday night, January 30th, I had the exquisite opportunity (gratitude!) to be in the presence of both Kris Carr and Gabby Bernstein for a night called Crazy, Sexy, Miracles.  It seemed that the universe heard my call for connecting more with my true self, and in the crazy (good) way that the world works, it “just so happened” that I was going to be in NYC the same night that they were having this event at the 92nd Street Y. (I’m beginning to think that it was a little bit more than that.  All I know is, that is where I was supposed to be that night).

I brought my Mom with me.  I was excited to share the experience with her, but I was also a little hesitant.  While my Mom fully supports anything that I do (especially when it makes me happy), she is a pretty pragmatic person who has never meditated or been very into the self-help type of “stuff.”  Thankfully she was more than happy to join me and said that she would go with an open mind, and I was thrilled to hear her chuckle at the funny parts while sitting beside me, and whenever I snuck a glance at her, she seemed to be truly engrossed in the evening.  Afterwards she told me that she thought that both Kris and Gabby were very “sharp,” intelligent, and wise; that they clearly had a loving message to send to others. It made my heart soar to finally be able to share my love of Kris with my Mom.  And seeing Gabby speak for the very first time was so powerful– she is so present, so grounded, so spiritual.  It was a true intimate evening and it felt as though we were just sitting around the kitchen table with a cup of coffee (or in their case, green tea) and chatting about our self-perceptions, our “shit-tastic days” and our ability to lift ourselves up and make great things happen.

The Q&A was a pure testament to just how quick-witted and smart these two young women are.  Many people (mostly young women) got up and talked about their journeys, whether it was cancer or starting a new business or trying to find “the one.”  They were emotional, talked about their tears and their triumphs, and when they asked questions, Gabby and Kris didn’t blink, despite the fact that they had no time to prepare for whatever tough life situations people were going to be throwing their way. It was quite clear that they have not only the life experience but also the genuine goodness and the tools to be able to help guide people towards shifting whatever it is in their life that they’re craving a shift in.  It’s not about changing who you are, it’s about changing how you see things, when what you see (or feel) holds you back.  It’s about seeing things in a new light that can open your life up to a whole new world of possibilities.  When they tell me (albeit me and 300 other women) that I can do anything, I believe them.

You may be wondering about the title:  Crazy, Sexy, Miracles.  It’s a combination of Kris Carr’s crazy-sexy cancer journey/books/movie, and Gabby’s books about miracles. You probably haven’t heard me mention Gabrielle Bernstein much; one of the reasons why is because the word “Miracles” is in a few of the titles of her books (one a NY Times bestseller).  I just didn’t know what to make of this.  I kept thinking about a burning bush and g-d speaking directly to me.  If I read this book, (May Cause Miracles), would something “miraculous” happen, like the parting of the red sea?  (That would be pretty cool, I thought.  I’m up for that).  But what if it didn’t?  What if I read the book and was somehow disappointed because I didn’t see a sign or feel spiritually fulfilled or “get it?” After all, I’m pretty new to this way of thinking.   I wondered if Gabby’s work would be religious or so spiritual that it would be over my head. I wish I could tell you what it was that finally sparked inside of me that made me pick up the book, but I can’t.  The only thing I can say is that I was ready to read it.

Once I cracked open the book, I realized exactly what she means by the word “miracles,” by shifting our perceptions to create these miracles.  In this case, I think it means change.  Releasing fear. Understanding how things like holding a grudge or saying icky things to your body can hold you back from true abundance, joy, love, and good health.  That inviting more of those loving thoughts into your life can create a miracle– and that miracle may just be changing the way that you see yourself, changing how you feel about yourself, and as such, changing the opportunities that come into your life. We talk about these things and we hear the words “self-acceptance” and “abundance” and “joy,” but are we really living it? Can shifting our thoughts create something grand in our lives?  And with those self-loving thoughts, what actions can we put into place to live happier and healthier lives?  (Thoughts are great, but then we need to get clear on what we want, and how to get it, right?). We can look at life either through a fearful lens, or a loving lens.  (Take a moment here to stop and think about how you look at the world.  I’ve mostly looked at it through a fearful lens, especially after all of the traumatic things that have happened to me, but I am trying to see things now with more compassion and love– towards others, the world, and perhaps most importantly, myself).

If I could spend every Friday night with Kris and Gabby, I would.  For now (until we become friends and hit the speaking circuit together) I’ll devour their books, their podcasts, their inspiration.  I’ll believe that I can do anything.  I’ll carry them with me in my heart, my mind and my soul.  Until we meet again.  xo.