Ohhh, dear friends, when you have trouble getting a “newbie” green juice down, it makes you feel like you’re less than a wellness warrior. Can we define just what exactly is a “wellness warrior?” Because in my head it means somebody that drinks 3 purely green juices a day, cleanses once a month, becomes a certified yoga instructor, and posts inversions and walks out in nature every day on Instagram. How do people have time (let alone flexibility?) for all of this?
Having said all of that, you know that I love Kris’s new book because it is so… Kris. Crazy Sexy Juice right on! The pages are glossy and the info is friendly and the pictures actually make you wonder why you didn’t just come out of the womb drinking this stuff. She’s been doing this for years but I secretly wonder if when she first started she had some gagging going on of her own (Yes, I actually gagged this morning).
Yesterday I tried the “Berry Protein Powder” smoothie and though it didn’t have a strong taste of anything, really, it was pretty easy to drink: bananas, blueberries, almost milk, hemp seeds, cacao powder, and spinach. I’m really into berries these days and I have secretly been wondering where almond milk has been my whole life.
I tried the “Green Me Up” juice this morning which Kris totes as a “newbie” one, excited (as I could be at 7:45am) to brush off the juicer since it’s kind of been like the step-child to the blender lately. All of these recipes seem to call for kale, which I thoroughly dislike (another reason why I can’t be a wellness warrior, right? How can I not like kale? Or beets or ginger, by the way). I substitute spinach instead (it is hysterical to my parent’s that I eat/drink spinach like it’s going out of style, since I wouldn’t touch the stuff when I was a kid). Green apple has less sugar, guess what? That’s my favorite kind! Score! Cucumber, love it. Pineapple, one of my faves, we’re doing well… And then…2 stalks of celery. Though I’m going on almost a year on having my juicer, I still consider myself a beginner (hence the “newbie” juice) but I later learned that it was the second stalk of celery that did me in. Ugh—I had to transfer the juice from my mason jar to a paper cup and try to just drink a little bit at a time, like medicine (I’m not sure what the transfer had to do with anything, it just felt more manageable, somehow). I’m still sipping the bright green juice as I write this, at 10:30am… And yes I know, the more oxygen that gets into the juice, the less potent it is, but come on people, I’m doing the best that I can! This is a tough one to swallow, I’m not going to lie. I wish that Mary Poppins would appear with a spoonful of sugar to help me get this “medicine” down, but then again, I guess that would kind of defeat the point, now wouldn’t it?
(I never thought I would say this, but I am so looking forward to my Ezekiel english muffin later on).
It is kind of cool that I have all of the fixings in my house not to make a martini, but to make a juice or a smoothie. My pantry is stocked with hemp seeds, flax seeds, cacao powder, oatmeal, dates, goji berries, chia seeds, almond butter and unsweetened coconut flakes. My fridge usually has spinach, lemons, apples, and cucumbers. Though I don’t always feel like a wellness warrior, maybe just my attempt to be one is enough, for now. Just like any human being, I suppose, I first tend to focus on what I don’t like or what I don’t do, instead of all of the great things that I am incorporating into my daily life to be the best version of myself (not just food but thoughts, exercise, gratitude, soul blasting friend sessions and giving myself permission to just “be” sometimes). Let that be a reminder for all of us to try and focus more on how we take care of ourselves (and love ourselves) and leave the rest for the birds. I’m pretty sure that my dear Kris would whole-heartedly agree!
Why can’t we have juices that taste like donuts? Just sayin’.